A parent's death can be devastating, taking a heavy emotional toll even on adult children. The tax and legal aspects are bad enough, but having to "clean out" their parent's house is an extremely difficult process.

I have talked with my clients for several years about planning ahead and discussing with their parents the logistics of disposing of a lifetime's worth of assets. Elderly parents can aid this process in many ways, especially by communicating with their adult children.

Experts suggest the need to have more than just a will. Let children know where bank and brokerage accounts are located and safeguard real estate paperwork. Safe deposit boxes can be extremely helpful in working through this process.

Experts also discuss testamentary letters, written by their elderly parents. These letters can discuss things such as who gets the good china or the clock that's been in the family for generations. They suggest explaining to their adult children the reasoning behind these decisions.

Cleaning out the house, going through all of the drawers and closets and attic, is probably the worst and most difficult job. They suggest getting as many people to help as possible. Try not to get distracted by things such as photo albums or scrap books. Set them aside for later even though they can be extremely tempting to look at now.

Decisions of what to keep, who gets it, what to sell and what to give away are made easier if there is good communication between the siblings. One solution when there are disagreements is to hold a lottery.

In conclusion, try and talk with your elderly parents to plan ahead for the difficult task of handling their death. It is a difficult subject at best, but is made worse by ignoring it until it is too late.